Wednesday, August 25, 2010

How To: Become Friends with a Celebrity

1) Spot them- celebrities are sneaky lil devils and often go to great lengths not to be seen*. So, you have to have a keen eye and an operating celeb-radar**. Hint: Celebrities often hang out at airports***
2) Once spotted, make eye contact over 20 seconds in length. This is to let them know that you know EXACTLY who they are****.
3) Make an excuse to get close to them. For example, if you are at the airport, make an effort to retrieve your baggage from the carousel right beside them. This will make it possible for you to "accidentally" bump into them so you can apologize. Prompting them to speak to you.
4) Upon their vocal acknowlegement of your presence on the planet, you must then tell a joke. This joke must refer to their current celebrity based project*****.
5) They will laugh******. You may silently celebrate.
6) Voila! You are now friends with a celebrity!!!!


*Leonardo DiCaprio is a prime example. However, his attempt of putting a jacket over his head and running about is not as sneaky as it sounds.
**The ability/device to spot sneaky celebrities. Some people are born with it. However, if you are not celeb-radar blessed- it can be purchased online.
*** According to TMZ.
****Some celebrities will attempt to pretend like they do not know who you are looking at, but this is just them being coy. Overcome this by winking- or for the keen Celebrity Befriender- lick your lips.
*****Example: Tom Felton (Malfoy- of Harry Potter fame) at the airport: "I thought you only travelled by broom"
******If they do not laugh, simply give them the url for howtodostuffff.blogspot.com - then continue to step 6.

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