How To: Be MC Hammer

1. Purchase a pair of parachute pants*. Perferably in bright, highlighter colours.
2. Shave the hair off your head, but still keep a patch on the top, so that you look badass, but stay warm.
3. Watch MC Hammer's infamous hit, "U Can't Touch This" and mimmic MC's dance moves.**
4. Now that you can dance like there's no tomrorow, you need a set of groupies, or "bitches".***
5. Once your crew is complete and legit, hit the streets. The world needs to digest your supreme talent.
6. Commence your performence in a highly populated area, such as the skate park.
7. After your routine is complete a riot may occur due to the awesomeness of the dance craze you have started.****
8. True MC Hammerness has now been achieved.


*Parachute pants = a pair of godly, silky pants that resemble loose genie pants.
**You may find the dance moves hard to maneuver, but don't fret because the parachute pants will make it look sweet no matter what.
***These groupies will appear in many of your music videos and dance behind you in spanex, as to display how lame people look without parachute pants, like yours.
****If police show up, distract them with your moves. They will be unable to do anything but be infected by your legit talent.