How To: Win At the MTV Movie Awards

1) Since most of our readers are probably in the movie/music/disney business, we believe most of you should know exactly how to win at the most prestigious award show of the year... the MTV one. So firstly, realize that you must do this in order to be seen as a hero by the fans, and the academy*.
2) Choose a film which will exentuate your strongest features. ie- your facial attractiveness, your slammin bod**, your sexuality, and your ability to play a vampire.***
3) If you get to be a vampire in this movie, you're golden. It won't matter how much screen time you get or how badly you act/suck****, you'll still probably win the golden popcorn statuette. However, if you're cast as the teen wolf... continue the steps.
4) Go on every online blog, tv show, interview and press junkit, and tell all of the 13 year old female***** viewers that if they vote for you, not only will you date them, but you will buy them an ice cream cone, and a pack of Junior Mints.
5) Once you're on the show, swear alot (it's a trend). Swear if you're interviewed, swear if you're walking by cameras, swear if you're talking to your friends, swear if you're talking to your mom, swear if you're on stage, swear if you lose, and most of all... F%&!ING SWEAR WHEN YOU WIN!
6) Once you win, thank everyone... but only jesus if you really, really have to. This isn't the MTV Music Video Awards******. Also, you gotta mention the fans*******- because if it weren't for them, you seriously would not be winning any type of award.

*It will likely be your first step to greatness.
**Debateable - ex. rpats and the naked asian gangster guy from the hangover (however, he was freakin hilarious).
***Ability to act= not important.
****(vampire pun)
*****The main voting demographic of the MTV Movie Awards (clearly).
******Or for that matter, the Country Music Awards.
*******the overwhelming amount of 13 year old girls who voted, since they're probably the only ones who care enough to vote anyways.