How To: Attain and Maintain a Food Baby

1. Eat roughly about 1/4 of your weight in food*
2. Do NOT exercise**
3. Sit or lay down for about 5 minutes while your baby grows to it's maximum size
4. Record the size of your baby on a wall so you can compare it to the future sizes of your food babies
5. Wear a revealing shirt to show how protruding your baby is***
6. Keep eating every 5 minutes so your food baby doesn't perish****
7. If anyone asks how many months along you are, simply say, "Oh it's only been 5 miunutes"*****
8. If you wish to maintain your food baby, keep eating every 5 minutes, and every hour eat 1/8 of your body weight. If you are uncomfortable with the attention you recieve from having a food baby, stop eating until the food baby starves to death.

*Eat as fast as possible, that way you won't feel full
**This is crucial that you don't exercise, because when you exercise, you sweat away your baby (could be concidered as murder)
***Such as a tube top will a hole cut out for your stomach to show
****Only eat snacks. If you eat too much, your food baby will explode.
*****If the person seems shocked or disgusted, know that their reaction is just out of pure jealousy, so ignore it.