How To: Hit on a Waiter/Waitress at a Restaurant

1) Sit down at desired table at restaurant*
2) Insist that you are seated at a table where your intended "hitee" serves**
3) When asked to order, start with drinks. Order water***. Your server will then ask "are you sure" (as water has no cost) and then you may begin conversing with them.
4) After allowing them to go fetch your drink, giggle alot when they return
5) Ask for the specials (when they ask)
6) Ask them to repeat the specials many times (when they ask why you arent listening, tell them you were lost in their eyes, and distracted by how beautiful their voice was)
7) When telling them your order, subtley add your phone number to your request****
8) As you are waiting for your order, ask the restaurant dj/manager to play a list of songs*****
7) When they return, thank them profusely and tell them you aren't sure if you are going to like it, so come and ask how you are doing alot just in case
8) Every time they come back, tell them there is something wrong with your food and you want something else (repeat steps until you are satisfied)
9) Once finished your meal, do not lick plate
10) Instead, in the remenants of your meal (ex: chocolate sauce) write your number/email address/home address/mothers home address/GPA/a cute saying describing your love for your server by Robert Frost or Judy Garland
11) Do same with bill
12) Before leaving, leave handsome tip******
13) Return 5-12 hours later and repeat steps.

*these tips will not help you unless you are at a restaurant. If you are somewhere like Abercrombie and Fitch and use these tips, you will not be successful (fyi: if you have to use tips at Abercrombie and Fitch you aren't good enough for anyone who works there)
**if you were unsucessful with "hitee" before this time, do not give up. You've seen the movies, one of these days those lucky buggers will come around.
***not only is it really tough, but it will show the person that you are saving your money so you may pamper them with gifts. Also, you will probably be returning alot, so spending all your money on drinks is not desired.
****ex. "I would like the Steak medium 555-3456 rare area code 534 with a side salad, coleslaw and pork rinds please." (adding your email adress when ordering dessert is often acceptable as well)
*****ex: "I know you want me" - Pitbull, "See You Again" - Miley Cyrus, "Sexyback" - JT, "You Belong with Me" - Taylor Swift, "Sex on Fire" - Kings of Leon, "Roxanne" - The Police
******handsome tip= half your bills worth. This will win them over if they did not seem to be enthused by you earlier in the day.