How To: Be an Asshole

1. Do not shower or wear deoderant*
2. Raise your arms in the air at any given opportunity.
3. Go up to someone and say, "holy crap! you staaaank!", then walk away.
4. If you are walking in front of people, make many sudden stops. If your abrupt stops cause someone to run into you, begin yelling at them**
5. Next, go to McDonalds and order a big mac, without lettuce and special sauce. Also ask them to remove the extra meat patty and bun***
6. Leave McDonalds in a fit of rage. (a "bet on it" breakout would be appropriate at this time)
7. If you happen to notice an old lady struggling to get across the street, push her down and say, "HURRY UP G-MA!"
8. Put gum all over the cross walk buttons.
9. Sexest jokes are VERY funny to all people.****
10. It's always your turn to talk.

*This is highly over-rated and a complete waste of your precious time.
**Eg: "IMMA BATCH SLAP YA SHAT BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or, "imma cut you......"
***Once you see the burger begin yelling, "WHAT IS THIS?! THIS IS A FREAKING QUARTER POUNDER, I ASKED FOR A BIG MAC YOU ASS HOLE."
****If your listeners aren't laughing, repeat the punch line.