How To: Use a Pickup Line

1) If you are attracted to someone but do not know how to spark a conversation with them, you are ready to use a pickup line.
2) Walk up to them*, and stay cool**
3) At this point, you can either use a pickup line you have heard before (ex. you:"hi, my name is Dayte Mi" hottie from across the room:"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Date Me!")
4) If you have never heard a pickup line before, just listen in on the conversation that your hottie from across the room is having. When you hear an interesting sentence that could be interpreted in a different (sexual) manner, repeat the sentence in a different (hilarious) voice, exentuating the interpretation you have taken, and making sure you are now a part of the conversation. ***
5) If you cannot do this, just make the situation even more hilarious by showing off your "interpretive skillz" and "comedic skillz."***
6) Break the ice! By telling them something interesting about your day*****.
7) Make sure you follow them around as much as possible, constantly using the steps above for pickup lines. As well, offer to buy them as much stuff as they can carry in their arms. Being rich is attractive, just look at Donald Trump.******
8) If your hottie from across the room is deaf, use signs to interpret to them what you are doing (which is trying to pick them up with your sweet lines).
9) If your hottie from across the room is not deaf, chances are you have probably picked them up by now.

*Do not yell across the room at them, that will make everyone aware of your intentions, and will therefore make you un-mysterious/un-attractive.
**Cool= like an ice sculpture, you do not want to be too expressive. However, do not lock your face in anything other than a calm, collected, "2kool4skool" face (fart face is unnacceptable at this point). Cool is also not tripping right in front of them and grabbing at "extremities" to keep yourself from falling on your face.
***ex. original sentence: "I just went to the bakery and bought fifty muffins." exentuated sentence: "OOOH you boughts us MUFFINS?! At the Baaeeekerray? Do the muffaains tasste gooood?"
****ex. original sentence: "I just had a french oral exam." interpretive skillz sentence: "ooooh, yoouu had a ORAL francais? hey?? Well, you probably passed that exam, you know what I mean?? Hey hey?? You would probably be a good teacher hey? Wanna tutor me? I'm free all the time!! DATE ME."
*****Chances are your life is lame, so just make something up. Tell them a story about something you saw on tv, but instead of the main characters name (ex. Crocodile Hunter or Tyra) use your own.
******The guy has a combover and is married to a supermodel.