How To: Cover Up Peeing Your Pants

1) Pee your pants
2) Realize that you have just peed your pants
3) Subtley* shuffle to the nearest vending machine
4) Purchase Apple Juice**
5) With much notice of others, spill/squirt/drip/dribble/leak or drop said Apple Juice onto "pee area" of pants
6) Make big deal about apparent spill, screaming things like "OH DANG!" or "MY NEW PANTS!" or "oh, well doesn't this look silly. I will have to go to the nurses office and get new pants." ****
7) After many profanities, exclaim loudly that "It appears as though I have soiled myself, but don't worry everybody, I have not!" or "I didn't pee myself I swear!" or "It's a good thing everyone saw me spill that drink on my pants, otherwise everyone would think I pizzed/jizzed myself! ROTFLOL***"
8) Everyone will now believe you have never peed ever.

*Do not attract attention
**Not Orange Juice or Cranberry Juice or Oatmeal or any kind of Soda/Carbonated Drink. None of these will appear to be urine. In fact, they may appear to be something of a much more embarassing excriment.
***lmaonade and lolocaust are appropriate at this point
****Looking down at the “pee area” distraughtly will also give you a chance to ensure that you did not spill on your leg instead of the designated “pee area”. If you missed the area, now would be the time to “accidentally” have a seizure. Or trip.