How To: Make the Most of Your Hotel Stay (Inspired by MaddyBams)

1) Purchase hotel room*
2) Enter hotel room**
3) Once inside hotel room, immediately drop all belongings and make way to bathroom area
4) Once in bathroom area, check for complimentary soaps and lotions
5) Pick up said soaps/lotions, and insert into personal bag*** (The hotel will merely believe that you were very dirty during your stay.)
6) Next, avert your attention to the nearest coffee machine
7) Noticing the plethora of coffee satchels, sugar/sweetening packets and t-bags****, insert desired amount into personal bag***
8) Next, take a long, very hot shower (without worrying about losing hot water/paying more for it)
9) Next, turn on television and watch complementary*** cable tv
10) Beware of the "complementary" snacks in the mini fridge! These are NOT COMPLEMENTARY!*****
11) Afterwards, collect your belongings and head out the door. But, do remember to keep the keycard given to you as a souvenir.*******


*People will make you think that you need to stay for a night in order to make the most of your stay at a hotel, however they are incorrect. All you really need (if you are in a pinch) is a few hours.
**Entering the hotel room is key. If you do not enter the hotel room, then (simply put) you are not taking full advantage of your hotel room stay.
***This is not considered stealing. They are complimentary (given to you by the hotel as a gift. And what do you do with gifts? You take them graciously. Do you want to hurt the hotels feelings by not accepting their gift?).
****t-bags= tea bags
***** the opposite of free******
******not free
*******Place card in wallet. It will make you appear as though you have a unique visa/debit card. Therefore making you appear important/worldly.